sunday 27th november

the mellow bars from today is fire.

i really tried not to tweet anymore for the year, to help get my things in line.

but i think its healthy that it stays, its a good mind dump for small thoughts that will bug me if i dont get them out my head.

im torn like never before between my wants and needs.

i want to party all the time and turn up to everything

i need to spend every day in the library

i want to spend every hour on my phone finding out more about my friends

i need to find 1 girl and keep my head down until after exams

i want to make music and play around with art and the internet and do some stupid shit

i need to put everything into college from 27/11/16 to XX/07/17

i feel bipolar, and completely torn. my wants are so unrealistic and misguided.

my needs will unlock and secure my future.

but being a teenager in the present its hard to see the wood from the trees and making something of the day, when something new comes up every day.

whether its a party, a new concert, an album, a new track, a new beef, a new inbox.

i really feel like an experiment. no generation before us has been torn between virtual and reality.

as if our elders are attempting to stop us from learning and growing.

our tech revolutions feel like extra hurdles in a race to find truth, hidden behind empty stories and misguiding goals, making us follow paths in the false hope there is a destination at the end of it, when really it is a dead end in the maze we call life.

this is way too deep for a sunday. the day of rest, as i let my mind bleeds whilst "Lucky Strike" by Woody Smalls fades out (had to switch tabs to check it".

im making changes though. im gonna be my teachers son by the end of 2016. im gonna write and read more. social media is boring me anyway and i can live without the feeds feeding me impurities for now. the organic words are in books, your friends minds, and the bottle. im gonna pursue 1 girl, text my friends, drink cranberry juice.

and after my exams in July i will have come to my crossroad. do i make music all summer, or pursue a different path. for now i focus on my feet not the hill, step by step. dont trip.

p.s. my last exam is 1 month after my birthday so join me at ATIK 19/06/17.