Jaden and Willow Interview by Pharrell Williams

i really relate to Jaden and Willow in this. i get lost scrolling, and then i become conscious of it and im like "why am i doing this? i dont know these people, idc what theyre doing". im all about productivity, and surround myself with productive people, and am inspired by productive role models, such as J & W. i see things that make me want to work out, and study, and earn, and remind me of my long term plans and goals; to travel the world, to live in LA.

i try to stay woke too, i feel i have a mind of a 30 year old through my life experiences, which transpires in my tweets and my speech. i can be "deep", but its not a guilt trip trying to gain something, i talk about personal experiences and feelings and energy and people usually just arent on the same page; because theyre still living a 17 year old life, and so i get cast off with "deep" and "same".

i always wanna be this creative. im torn as i want to make $ through accountancy but my hunger to create is such a polar opposite path. my creativity is a big part of me, and ill never contain it; i let it consume my free time. but my study and work time i must control, this ying yang balance must be retained. i think ill fall one way or the other eventually, beaten into submission or spiralling another way. either way ill be content, either way ill be happy.

making things is harder when you have to study. everything takes longer, people are busy. ill never get my beats made, or my other plans together. ill just get funnelled through the system of study, revise, part time work, and that cycle will continue until next summer. the grind is endless, my childhood already feels over, im already 30.

i just wanna be happy. the things i want to make me happy do require money, but i can make ways to work around it. my dreams are expensive and will take a lot of labour, which i feel will kill off my seed of hope for a career/lifestyle in the creative business. i want my own house thatll accumulate value, that i can hold down and live in whilst i gain experience and qualifications in accounting. experience i hope to take overseas to LA/NY/ATL/CHICAGO. my only fear is being lonely. i feel moving away might make me lonely. im scared enough when my friends go to uni. in foreign lands without my friends and family, i dont know if i want that. but that freedom, that space, thats what i live for. maybe ill compromise, and find space in the UK. buy a big old crib, vamp it up. right now all i want is a damn shoe rack, i seriously need to hit up argos/ikea i cant wait for my new room.

i just like property. i like what is mine and i feel proud about it. my clothes, my grades, my bedroom; just the little things. their little balls of expression, little bits of me showcased to the world. and i like me. i like my independence. im glad i dont rely on my parents, and i sure as hell get mad at friends relying on handouts, putting 8 snapchat advertisements out in a week and 0 CV's out in a season. thats a lack of productivity and aspiration that i cant relate myself with, that energy doesnt set right with me.

jaden is hilarious. i think he will just go; he has that capability. its really easy to become famous and really easy to lose your fame. i fear one day ill just snap and ill wanna go, and im not even a celebrity.

but i dont think thatll happen. i think your mcm is here to stay.

1/9/16. September 2016.